January 22, 2006

Papa, I am having a hard time tonight. I can't sleep. I am finding moving yet again an emotional drain even though this one is supposed to be happy: my own place! I found all my old mementos today. The shoe box, old photos and letters. Papa, is it okay that the past still hurts? I don't want to be so hard but I don't know what else to be. I keep feeling like it shouldn't hurt so much - like I should just be able to suck it all up and continue on. I guess perhaps there is a bit of baggage, hey? What can I do to let it go? My heart is still cracked over all of it, Papa. I was such a lonely child. How do I heal from that? I know you can do that, Lord. I know you can heal hurts. I know I don't have to know the 'hows'. It's yours, Father. I trust You. However you plan on doing it, I'm in (even though it scares me), Please heal my broken, lonely, abandoned heart with all it's childhood ails.
Thank you for all Your blessings, Papa. I love you.



November 9, 2006 - I didn't think it would take so long!! Please hold my heart, Papa.