Remember when we would sit up all night just so that the world looked it's funniest? One-word stories and bottles of Jolt? Remember how we'd head to the playground to swing on the nights of the full moon? There was that one night we locked the keys in the truck and had to get that guy to break in.
One of my favorite memories was the night we were walking home real late. The town was silent and it was snowing big flakes but it was so warm out that water was running down the street and the sky was red. We stood at the bottom of the hill and talked how great the last few months had been. The three of us were inseparable. We shared the tears but even more so the laughter. We'd head out crammed in the cab of the pick up.
I remember the night I knew we were never going to be the same again. I sat on the deck in the dark. Your dog who never cared for me came to sit with me. I guess he knew that that moment was one of the loneliest.
Eight years have passed since we last sat around a campfire. We all knew it was the last time we'd be together but none of us said it.

It was.

Remember how we used to think we'd always be together? I don't think I was ever so naive to think that people don't change and grow apart. But in those days I needed to hold to that hope however false.
I still feel the aching desire to find a swing whenever the moon is full.
You were the best friends I ever had in my life. I wish you well.

SDS 2000

"Everybody's Broken"
Jon Bon Jovi

Welcome to the party
Come on in and disappear
You're feeling like a stranger
But all your friends are here
Little lines and cracks
Around your eyes and mouth
Something's trying to get in
Something's trying to get out

It's ok, to be a little broken
Everybody's broken, in this life
It's ok, to feel a little broken
Everybody's broken, your alright
It's just life

Step into the deep end
Make yourself at home
When you wonder why your breathing
Know your not alone
It's so hard to believe
It's easier to doubt
You're trying to hold in
But your dying to scream out

It's ok to be a little broken
Everybody's broken

In this life
It's ok to feel a little broken
Everybody's broken, your alright
It's alright, it's just life

Take a look around
Tell me what you see
Is who you think you are
Who you want to be

It's ok, to be a little broken
Everybody's broken, in this life
It's ok, to feel a little broken
Everybody's broken, your alright
Just keep on going
Eyes wide open
Everybody's broken

Being broken is not a bad thing - it's a human thing. It's okay. The thing is when you are trapped in your brokenness it's no longer okay. Then it's time to get help and get better. I know that's easier said than done, but isn't it worth it? Aren't you?

Where death lurks life looks different.

Being a Bible college student naturally I am required to study the books of the Bible. Currently I am reading a book having to do with the Old Testament and one of the questions I am asked to write on has me looking into my own life for correlation. We are still quite early in Genesis and the author is comparing the story of Adam with the story of Israel. Both were granted a divine location where they were in close contact with God Himself. They were given a law to follow in order to remain there and both fell short of said law and thus were expelled from the divine location. That's tough love, baby. When I first was required to read the Old Testament at length I was upset about the idea of following a God that could ravage His people so brutally. Whole people-types would be wiped out for not maintaining what they were told to do. I was furious!! One day I was telling a friend about my disappointments and she reminded me that they were warned.; God had told His people if you do this (evil and bad thing) I will do this (brutal and nasty punishment). Talk about action and consequence!! AND YET the people did do the evil thing they were warned not to and so God sent fire and wrath from above and the entire people were no more. It wasn't until one year at camp did I understand the love behind God's extreme response. We had been having a problem with staff being out after lights out. Finally the program director had sat the entire staff team down and told them if any of the group were caught out after the lights out bell rang they would be sent home for the remainder of the week. One night I was walking the camp as it was my night on rounds and I found two of our staff members helping out at the petting zoo. Their intentions were noble, but the fact was they were out without permission after the lights out bell had gone. The next day they were sat down and told they were going home. The program director explained to them that it was in love that he made the call. You see we assure that staff that we love them and are walking with them. We also told them our promise to send them home if they broke the lights out rule. If we break the promise we made about the consequences of their actions how could they be sure we also wouldn't break the promise that we love them? They were sent home with the invitation to return the next week (both of which did). I have realized that another story of camp reflects the Adam/Israel tale. She had been a camper and a CLTD at camp over the years - she was granted a divine place to be close to God. She was granted rule to live by as such. However, she managed to break a few of the rules and was told that she had one more chance to live by the laws provided or the conequence was banishment. Alas one more transgression took place and she was required to leave for the remainder of the summer. The really amazing thing is though, that God still loved Adam and He still loved Israel. I'm not trying to suggest that the powers that be here at camp are God, but we still love all three of the people that we expelled from our garden. There is grace and forgivess and without that we'd all be hopped! How often does this story play out?

The powers and principalities of this world are aware that prayer and it's results are the most revolutionary of acts. That is why they consider those who pray to be a threat. Prayer is an action in itself, a potent political weapon to be used in spiritual warfare against the most powerful forces of the world.

-Jim Wallis

There are people and there are moments and there is music and there is art that moves me so much that makes me feel like all I have ever done is sat still for the whole of my life. Sometimes I wonder if I have ever breathed at all. How can I live life and not make such a stir?

An email from my mother...

Ah - my children - I guess I missed giving you some of the facts you needed in life. On the same day, my favorite son asks on his Facebook "did you know that worms don't like Doritos?", and my favorite daughter asks on her Facebook page "how much snot can come from one head?"

Well, here are my answers for you -

Shelley - snot when you have a big cold is like love - it just keeps growing and growing - there is no capacity or end

Kyle - let's think of the logistics - size of a Dorito - versus the size of a little worm mouth - It just won't fit!!!!! Suggest you try crushing the Doritos, serve with beer, and perhaps your little visitors will be more receptive!!!

Love you both your slightly tilted to the left Mom