I have hope that one day Christmas will be easier, that I'll look forward to the season. This year I would be more than happy if it didn't come at all. Christmases have never been easy, but this year the only constant in all my Christmases will not be there to fulfill the few traditions we have. Only my stocking will be filled and pinned shut. No one will knock on my wall to wake me up (even if I were already up).
I am hoping for a Christmas miracle (Is that even allowed? Am I allowed to ask for that?). I just need something amazing. I don't even know what. I don't need gifts, I want for nothing material. Just a miracle. That's all.
Help me to believe.